This constant push and pull of tuning into my internal sensations as I navigate the unexplained. Traveling on the edge of the unknown is fearful and exhilarating. The benefit of pleasure outweighs the risk involved. Flowing to the edge, spilling over. The crash hurts more than the idea of crashing. The eternal walk of suffering. [...]
Tag: spiritual
Initiation Rites
The moment of initiation... The moment I realized I had to walk through the door to the unknown. The moment I found what I had been seeking all along. The moment the deep knowing came to full realization and my wholesome existence came into play. The moment I knew my life would change forever. It’s [...]
The Man I Seek Is Within
I’ve been in unfaithful monogamous relationships for all but a few months out of the 10 years I’ve danced. It’s been a time warp of standing still in some areas in life, while growing in others. The same story has been playing over in the club and with boyfriends. My desires are outside of what [...]
The Mirror
Speaking through the mirror, gazing upon the other's eyes in the reflection becomes the way of communication. This has shown me the way I am, the way I move, the way I interact. This has reinforced the outer world existence as I observe the outer world incessantly. I rebel and choose to look them in [...]
Shame for Sale
All my life, shame has grown around my sexual pleasure. It has compounded in every possible moment until now. I’m 30 and I’m deciding to stop the cycle. I’ve hidden behind it for so long with my expression masked in happiness and confidence. The shame has been this little devil poking my back, and now [...]
In Transition
Being in this state of transition has prompted many unfoldings of my path. It’s been 10 years since I started dancing. I’m not sure when I decided I was mentally done, but it feels like too long. It’s been a year since I graduated with my BA. It’s been a year since going to Burning [...]
Ecstatic Soul Stripper 