Causing Trauma I take extreme responsibility for my life. Although other people are part of this experience, I take charge in what it is that I have power to do and say. Working in the strip club has allowed me the opportunity to do the work to find healing and empowerment. This idea of causing [...]
Tag: relationships
The Frequency of Love
I'm in the place of awareness of old patterns and have the beautiful opportunity to begin anew. I've been here before. Declaring I see myself. Declaring I see my patterns and truth. I stir with anxiousness, unwilling at first to look at whats poking me in the back. Finally, I choose to sit with it. [...]
Universal Truth
From the age of 9, I can remember being looked at as a sexual creature. I was hit on by older men, assuming I was at least 18. Cat calls bombarded me as I'd walk down the street in my saggy pants and beanie-chosen to avoid the hoots and hollers. When I was 12 years old, I [...]
Authentic Relating
Being in a state of authenticity in the club and being responsible for my feelings, and my feelings alone, has allowed me to remove the shackles of shame even further. I’m sinking into a place where pleasure is allowed to exist without guilt and worry that someone else will disapprove. Witnessing myself play and be [...]
Healing My Inner Masculine Part 2
Looking at all my relationships up until this point in my life, I’m left recognizing patterns and seeing where I’ve made dramatic shifts when new people come into my life. I see the work I’ve been doing, but how is this moment any different than the past? I feel like my life is more full [...]
Freedom
It’s so wild going back and reading my old blogs and seeing how much I’ve changed. Knowing where I was mentally in that moment writing those words; living in a wavering place of comparison, fear, and confusion. I’m so grateful for the process I’ve gone through to bring me to this very moment of clarity [...]
Edging
This constant push and pull of tuning into my internal sensations as I navigate the unexplained. Traveling on the edge of the unknown is fearful and exhilarating. The benefit of pleasure outweighs the risk involved. Flowing to the edge, spilling over. The crash hurts more than the idea of crashing. The eternal walk of suffering. [...]
The Sexist In Me Is The Sexist In You
For years I have owned the "other's" image of myself that I have created. I'm recognizing more fully how much I actually judge myself. In this conversation with sex and my desire to fully acknowledge my trauma that revolves around it to fully embody a true nurturing human that has tended to her wounds, I [...]
The Man I Seek Is Within
I’ve been in unfaithful monogamous relationships for all but a few months out of the 10 years I’ve danced. It’s been a time warp of standing still in some areas in life, while growing in others. The same story has been playing over in the club and with boyfriends. My desires are outside of what [...]
Ecstatic Soul Stripper 