The Beginning Being a dancer I was conditioned and taught by others to not feel the extent of what I was feelings in my experience. I remember my first day when a woman took me under her wing and showed me the ropes of stripping. She grabbed my arm and dragged me into the VIP [...]
Tag: shame
I see you, Shame.
The never ending gift of the past. It flows, swirls, and glides in and out of life as if it was always there; there is no beginning and no end. No matter how many beginnings I find, there is always another. It is omnipresent in this life. It sneaks up on me and scares me [...]
Romantic Love Partnership
I'm asking myself some questions, some I have answers to and some I do not: What does a romantic love partnership mean to me? Intimate, sexual, supportive, safe, loving, and joyful experiences. Can I have multiple romantic partners? I know the answer to this one is YES. Navigating it is another question. I feel like having [...]
Authentic Relating
Being in a state of authenticity in the club and being responsible for my feelings, and my feelings alone, has allowed me to remove the shackles of shame even further. I’m sinking into a place where pleasure is allowed to exist without guilt and worry that someone else will disapprove. Witnessing myself play and be [...]
Shame for Sale
All my life, shame has grown around my sexual pleasure. It has compounded in every possible moment until now. I’m 30 and I’m deciding to stop the cycle. I’ve hidden behind it for so long with my expression masked in happiness and confidence. The shame has been this little devil poking my back, and now [...]