✨New Beginnings✨

Life has a way of bringing about initiations whether you are ready or not.

At the ripe age of 37, I’m finding myself rooting into a new way of life. One that’s been waiting paitently for me as my life seemed to be on somewhat of a pause while I was being cheated on and disrespected over and over again.

I did have two beautiful precious daughters in that time, which did require me to pause, and that seems to be the gift out of all of this.

I ask myself how could it be, that me, out of all the people in the world, the one devoted to intimacy, devoted to sacred honoring, and depth could be the recipient of such disregard and deciet?

How could I have ignored the reality of our disconnection?

The honest truth was that I take everything as a study. I’m an avid learner and thrive on investigation. I figured I was paired with the epitome of toxic masculine traits so that I could mentor people in those depths. I analyzed and made myself a better person to withstand the posion- to become resistant to it.

You know what poison I’m talking about…the comments about our character, the jabs at our habits, the angry explosions when we don’t fit their profile of perfection.

The downplaying of our emotions and ignoring our requests for deeper communication and understanding.

That’s the poison I’m talking about. It chips away at self worth and value. It creates self doubt.

But at the same time, I made myself stronger. I tuned into energy healing on a quantum level. I supercharged myself with electromagnetic therapy, frequencies, copper, high vibrational water and a slue of other nervous system healing and regulating modalites to prepare for WAR.

While the poison burned at first I grew a thick layer of protection over the years.

With distance I see a hungry pain body searching for food. And I choose not to feed it.

I am no longer available for manipulation and control.

There was benefit in the relationship, otherwise I wouldn’t have stayed.

The stability and the perceived saftey of the relationship allowed me to blossom into mySELF.

I’ve never felt better, mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually.

And so when the war came, a few arrows drew blood, but I have come out on the other side victorious.

I stand now in my new home, embarking on my new path, feeling lightness guiding me forward.

I trust that this is why I came here.

I trust that this is all divine.

I trust that I am.